If I were an octopus...

Octopus- A cephalopod (Octopus and other genera, order Octopoda) with eight sucker-bearing arms, a soft saclike body, strong beaklike jaws

I find myself murmuring this a lot lately- especially when I'm having orders yelled at me from 2 demanding divas like I'm a Waffle House cook. Or, when I'm fixing breakfast in the kitchen for said divas and I'm being meowed at violently from the cats who act like they haven't eaten since last week. And combined with the demanding divas and meowing cats, I have a husband shouting from the fridge, "have you seen the creamer" or "where'd you hide the sugar" all before I can wipe the sleep from my eyes and make a cup of coffee for myself. It's mornings like these where I wish I had those eight arms. One arm to make the breakfast, one arm to feed the cats, one arm find all of those so called "hidden" items for the husband, one arm to drink my coffee, and the other 4 to gently cover all of their mouths for some much needed piece and quiet during the morning hustle. I'm not a morning person, never have been, I'll admit it. So this type of ruckus in the morning is too much to take.

Its been said, that along with their eight arms, the octopus can move at incredibly fast speeds and that they also have the ability to camouflage themselves with their surroundings. Now the idea of being an octopus sounds even better! fast speed + eight arms = chores done in under half the time! I could be cleaning up the massive spill of valentines fun dip ( thank you to the a-hole mom who that was a good idea for a goodie bag) and folding the 3 loads worth of laundry that has been sitting in the basket ALL WEEK. There are days when I feel like I want to run away, but instead, I keep it sane and hide in the bathroom or escape to my closet and just shut the door-but those glorious moments of silence are short lived, because in a matter of seconds jaws and his little piranhas are catching up to their prey. BUT, but, if only I were an octopus- I could camouflage myself with my surroundings and they'd never find me! <<insert evil laugh here>> I could blend right in with the dishwasher or the  neutral tones of the walls and laugh to myself as they all walk around madly shouting "Mommmmmy, Mom, MOM!, where are you?"

Ah, yes, to be an octopus would be splendid indeed...